33 and random thoughts

I am turning 33 tomorrow. I remember when I was in my early 20's and thought that 30 is really old. I have been too busy to think about it until yesterday when M proposed to go camping on Friday night. He said he would rather take me out to eat but if we don't go on Friday we might not be able to go for a while. Hey, it's the 4th of July, we can go camping, swimming in the lake and making smore's and maybe we will even see Mt.Rushmore all lit up at night. They used to have fireworks on Mt.Rushmore but they are off this year due to high fire danger. It's funny because this year has been one of the wettest years in the last 10-15 years and they called the fireworks off in February! Seriously, no one can tell what summer is going to be like in February. Why not wait till April to decide? So, no fireworks this year, but we have seen them before. They are spectacular, by the way!
So, back to my birthday. I really don't mind turning 33. I am happy where I am at in life. Numbers don't matter much anymore. It's interesting, though, how my childhood is still influencing me at almost 33. My mom has always been a big girl. It's her constitution. Growing up she always reminded me to watch what I eat. She told me how she always wanted to be able to wear shorts or even jeans when she was young and never could because of extra weight. She told me how her own mother lived through years of going hungry and just couldn't say 'no' to her children when they asked for food and they actually HAD the food in the house. So I have always been mindful of putting an extra pound on. I have never been that fat, even being pregnant the heaviest I ever got was 180 pound. Which isn't too much considering I am 5'10 (the down side of being that tall is not being able to find clothes long enough in small sizes. Teen sections are usually better stocked but let's face it, I am a little too old to wear shorts in neon colors with rips all over) I have had a mentality of a fat girl all my life, because in my mom's mind (that I inherited) there's no such thing as too thin. So, yesterday we went to the lake, right. And before going to the beach I took the baby to the bathroom. I noticed this cute skinny girl in the corner of my eye as I was passing the sinks. 'I wish I was that skinny' I thought to my self as Rachael was doing what she was supposed to do. On the way back I looked in the mirror and realized that that skinny girl I saw was a reflection of ME in the mirror! What a lesson! I am soo hoping I will not pass that obsession with weight to my daughter the way it was passed down to me.
And while I am at it, let me boast a little about Rachael's progress speech wise. As I came up from the gym to pick up the kids yesterday, one of the ladies said that Rachael told them 'Mommy, class!' That was because the day before someone asked me what fitness class I was taking and she overheard the conversation. No, I am not taking any classes, I am just to clumsy and uncoordinated (and fat. oh, wait, that's not me. got to change that way of thinking!) But isn't it amazing that she heard it and understood what was talked about, remembered and applied it appropriately the next day? I am so proud of my little girl! The down side? She is standing here screaming 'Mommy! Bath! Mommy! Bath!' because she heard me telling Jadin we can go to the playground after I take a shower. So I better go do it. :)