And then there's 'Christian character' award that they give one student of each class every week for demonstrating Christian character.
I don't know what YOU think when you hear Christian character. I tend to look at it as work of the Holy Spirit in us resulting in producing fruit. 'But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control.' (Gal.5:22-23a) So, it is unbiblical to reward a CHILD demonstrating this fruit, because it is Spirit that works these things in him/her. When you reward the child for what GOD is doing in him, you are encouraging pride and self-reliance.
I witnessed this kind of attitude first hand in the school hall. A frequent recipient of that award, a kindergartner, asked me if I was Jadin's mom. I said I was. He told me that Jadin used to sit by him but the teacher had to move Jadin because he was too distracting (not true, they move them around every semester regrdless). The 'holier then thou' attitude was so thick you could taste it! Did I mention that the little guy is a KINDERGARTNER! I don't want to see what that attitude looks like by the time the child is in sixth grade.
Now, you may argue that we are 'to work out our salvation with fear and trembling' (Phil. 2:12) and a child should be rewarded for their effort. I agree. BUT, how do you measure the effort?
Let me explain using the example of my own kids.
Jadin.
Jadin is my rambunctious, never sitting still, fun loving, always moving around, living in his head, having a hard time concentrating child. I am sure if we cared to have him diagnosed he would be pronounced ADHD. He is also tender and quick to respond to some one's pain, ready to give his most beloved possession to comfort others, willing to stand up for those he loves child. He is always the first to pray. For him, getting a month of green lights (for good behavior) at school is a huge achievement because he is just so full of life and energy, it's hard for him to sit still and listen. The fact that he does that day after day, means he knows what's expected of him and workes HARD to do it.
Daniel.
Now, take Daniel. He is fun loving , too, and energetic, but he is also much quieter. If you sit him down and tell him to color, he will COLOR even if the earth start falling apart around him. He loves vegetating in front of the TV. He loves to sit in my lap and be loved and he doesn't need anything else to occupy him. He is perfectly content to just sit. Yes, he is the perfect candidate for the 'Christian character' award, but is this of his doing? Of course, not. That is how he was created by God. It takes no effort whatsoever.
So, out of the two of them, who do you think is more 'worthy' of that award based on 'working out your salvation with fear and trembling'? Who puts most effort in being 'good' (sitting quietly and doing what they are told to do without distracting everyone)? A child who was born to be content doing it or the one who has to give it his all to do it?
Jadin has never been a recipient of that award. Yet, he has been coming home with all green lights (with four exceptions since Sept.1st).
Now, call this a 'good behavior' award, leave 'Christian' out. That doesn't mean you have to put any effort in it. The 'Christian Character' award implies EFFORT. Or else, you are rewarding the child for the work God is doing in him and for the way the child was created.
Not fair, anyway you look at it.
What should I do?
Makes sense to me... I probably wouldn't have thought of it like that. Jadin should be rewarded because he is clearly trying very hard!
ReplyDeleteBoth pics are so cute! Where was the picture of Jadin taken?
I was thinking of you this morning... our friend in Odessa had to write a letter of recommendation for a friend (In english) and she had me put it in paragraph form, and proofread it. I felt like you :) but in reverse...
It's Yellowstone. I love that pic because it looks like Jadin was there when the Earth was created :)
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy your posts, I am so happy for all of you!
Hi
ReplyDeleteI found your post from Little Catholic Bubble.
First, I love those pictures! Your little boy standing in front of what looks like a volcano (I know it's not a volcano but it's erupting like one) describes him perfectly. And that second picture, need I say more?
I totally agree with you but never had the words to put it as you have. I think your absolutely right. My oldest son has ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and also has a hard time concentrating. My other little boy may have ADHD but is only three and a half and too early to test. My little five year old girl is very quiet, tender, loves to talk about God. But she hasn't benefited on her own.
Love my children, any flavor that God gives them to me! And I also agree with you about the chapel thing. Why do people feel we must constantly entertain (bribe) people to prayer? "We promise to make it 'fun'--we'll sing songs, and play games..."
I tell my son as we go to Mass that we're there for Jesus, to worship Jesus, not for what we want to do. (We should want to pray, but this is a six year old who wants to go home and play that I'm trying to reason with.)I watch people bored in the pews (a few even texting friends!) as the priest tries hard to keep their attention with witty jokes. It's so sad. I don't understand why they feel that God is not enough for them. They don't seem to be at all impressed with the fact that He died for us.
Love your post, I'll check in every so often!
Becky, welcome to my blog, and thank you for your comment!
ReplyDeleteIt really is quite sad to see so many entertainment oriented worship services. So many of them seem to be lacking theologically, I noticed. Now, when our children see this Friday after Friday in chapel, will they grow up thinking that that is the norm? When it's time for them to pick a church to call their own, will they look for the best entertainment or sound theology? This is what's bothering me the most. Our church is quite small, and I think one of the reasons for that is it's centered around sound teaching and our music is by no means entertaining (being on the worship team I know this first hand) My prayer for my children (and yours, as well, as children of any believing family) that they will be learning that sound doctrine is more important than good music or other programs a church may offer.
Love the photo of Jadin at Yellowstone. :) I think that Jadin and my grandson, Stirling, are very much alike. Stirling has a very difficult time getting all green lights, too, and has been to the principle's office at least twice this year. I am in constant prayer for him because his heart, at 6 years old, is very rebellious toward God. Otherwise you could have been describing him. Give thanks to God that Jadin appears to be softer toward God. I will pray for him now when I pray for Stirling. Thanks for sharing this.
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