Parent-Teacher Conferences.

I don't usually look forward to them. I get feed back from teachers on a day-to-day basis, so it's all old news to me. M. really wants to know what's going on (why can't he just ask ME?) so the teachers try really hard to do them on Wednesday (his day off) because involved dads are a rarity and they are trying to encourage him (gotta love small Christian schools). That meant we had to be there at 7.40 am for Jadin's conference (the only time the teacher had. She is amazing! If it was me, I'd tell mom to come on Thursday)
I am not a morning person. Add M yelling at me for sitting on an important (to him) piece of paper he put in MY seat in the car (that I didn't notice, obviously. WHY would I ever think about looking what's in my seat before sitting in it?) and I was in a really bad mood. Than we pull out of the drive way and it turns out M forgot their back packs (I assumed he brought them because that's what I do when I put them in the car. Since M put them in the car this morning I didn't think about it). You guessed it, somehow it was MY fault. Did I mention I was already in a bad mood?
On the way to school Rachael said something we didn't understand. She was getting agitated (because of the lack of response from us) so M, trying to understand, said 'Did your milk dry out?' (that's what it sounded like). Her response? 'Nope, it's still wet' I laughed so hard! (don't ask me why, it sounded really funny at the time). It's kind of hard to be mad at anybody after laughing like that. It's amazing how a small child can brighten your day like that.
Jadin's teacher didn't say anything unexpected. He is doing very well academically and they she is still working on his listening skills.
Daniel's preschool teacher had an accident in the morning so Daniel had to go to Mrs. H's class. AND we celebrated his birthday at school. As a side note, I overheard her telling other moms how parents were supposed to bring HEALTHY treats and how we (I) didn't (I made chocolate cars on pretzel sticks for Jadin's class treat and Daniel has been looking forward to sharing those with his class on his birthday), but that she DID give them apple slices and they drank a lot of water. (Does this sound arrogant to anyone else, or is it just me? I was never instructed on the matter. 'Insert frustration here')
I am already not crazy about Mrs. H. (I blogged about her showing no grace to Rachael when I was helping at school) and that certainly doesn't make me love her any better.
Luckily, Daniel's teacher wasn't hurt. We had a conference with her right after class, and she said he is a sweetheart and never has behavioral issues (I am not surprised) but we have to work on writing letters and scissor skills (that doesn't surprise me, either. He is a lefty, and scissors are made for right handed people).
It's also Navy Day in Ukraine and I am expected to write a nice note to dad. I am NOT GOOD at that. I want to write something meaningful, but am expected to wish him health and prosperity. That always makes me frustrated, because it seems like I write the same words every year and am not conveying the message of how important he is to me.
It's only noon and I am already feeling drained.
Oh, and I am having an extra long flute lesson tonight and dreading it a little due to apparent (to me) lack of progress after hours and hours of practicing.

Off to the gym I go to work out some frustrations and hopefully to be able to hold it together at the lesson.

I Am That Mom.

The mom that bribes.
When I first started this blog I wasn't sure I will have much to write about. After all, I do stay home, I am not creative and for the most part do not craft (save the kids' scrapbooks and all the clothes I made for Rachael before she was born. Girls are so much fun to dress!) It's interesting how motherhood provides one with all the material they would need to write (and takes away all the time to do it :) This post is mommyhood inspired.
I first discovered the joys of bribery when it was time to teach Jadin to read (or, at least I thought it was time.) He didn't take to it right away. He was only three and his attention span has never been the greatest. He would much rather run outside. But it was February, and it's not pretty here. Unless you have hot flashes, of course, which we are all too young for that.
But I digress. Being stuck at home with two small boys and bored to the point of being willing to teach a hyper 3yo to read, I ordered 'One Hundred Easy Lessons...' (love that book, by the way, it has seen a lot of use with both boys) Since Jadin thought it was fun for about the first two minutes, I promised him candy at the end of each completed lesson.
And so it began. The bribery, I mean. After it worked miracles with reading, we moved to meals. If you want a treat, you have to finish your food. Oh, wow! Those plates got cleaned up. In some cases (Jadin) fast, in some (Daniel) not so fast (but then again, Daniel is just slow at everything).
Awww, and then, sweet Rachael. Stubborn as a mule. Gotta love the child for her single mindedness, though. I am sure it will serve her well in the future. She decided she didn't like it when mommy played flute and would start making heart wrenching screams and producing huge tears every time she'd hear (or thought she heard) flute music, or when I was out of sight for more than 10 sec. at a time. Oh, joy! M. asked me what I did to the poor thing to cause that kind of a reaction. (didn't do anything, I promise) A sucker and permission to play in the sink in slowly dripping water did the trick. We went from 'If you want to play in the water, honey, you have to let mommy play the flute' to her bringing my flute case to the bathroom (I need the mirror to make sure I am playing with the correct embouchure) saying 'Mommy! Come play flute!' LOL.
And now, naps. We had a looooong screaming session yesterday which resulted in 'If Rachael screams in her bed she doesn't get a sucker' rule. It was demonstrated to her in the afternoon. She threw fits ('I want a suuuuuuucker!!!!! Mommy didn't give me a suuuuucker' You get the idea.) I quietly explained to her (about a hundred times) that screaming in her bed during nap time means NO SUCKER.
Today there were no tears. She played in her bed for a while, explained to me that she is going to close her eyes to get a sucker (insert about 50'that's right, honey's here) and is happily snoozing just as I am typing this.
Ahhhh, the power of bribing.

Swimming Super Star (Bragging Moment)

When I was in second grade, my parents decided that school and music lessons were not enough to occupy me. So they signed my up for swimming lessons. And a few months later we moved.
Apparently, I was doing really well, because my coach begged and pleaded with my parents to allow me to continue training with her. She must have promised gold medals in the future because despite their better judgement they agreed. Why wasn't it good judgement? First, I was starting third grade in a new school and was to be enrolled in music school which was a much more serious undertaking than your regular music lessons once a week. Secondly, it took 2 hrs one way, two different types of public transportation and quite a bit of walking. By myself. Perhaps, I should mention here that my sense of direction is non-existent. I once got lost going home from music school which was only 20 min. away.
Yes, the first time I took the wrong bus, it was over. Coaches were upset, but this time mom stood her ground (it took me all day to find my way back home. No cell phones back then, either. Or any phones. It WAS a Soviet country, after all)
Why am I telling this story? Well, apparently, I DID have a little bit of a talent. And it got passed on to my middle son, Daniel.
We didn't realize this until the other day. I mean, sure he was doing really well in his swim class, ending up on the same level as his older brother. Is that unusual? It is. He started this most advanced class for his age group (3-5 yo) at the end of September. It is so rare for children to make it to this class before they turn six, that they only offer ONE class (6 kids max, and I've never seen for then 4 in that class). Which means we HAVE to be there at that time if we want him to swim. When they first dropped him in the adult pool I was sure he was going to drown. I was secretly praying the teacher doesn't turn his back on him for a second and allow my child to perish. I was prepared to jump into that pool and rescue him. At the end of first session his teacher put something like 'it's going to take Daniel a LOOOOOOONG time and a lot of practice to pass this class'. We were on the same page :)
When M told me Daniel passed that class at the end of second session, I thought he was joking. I was sure he meant Jadin. He showed me the paper. Daniel passed the class. After only TWO sessions. BEFORE he turned 5. When I went to sigh him up for the next level, the lady working the front desk (who has been there forever, by the way) didn't know what class I was talking about. It is so rare for any child to be in that class, she didn't know it existed. After all, kids usually didn't make it to the previous level before they aged out of it. Daniel has a whole year before he ages out. Let's hope he will stay there for more then two sessions, because they simply don't have any classes more advanced than that one.
I have a super swimmer on my hands.
And, yes, it means we have to spend two hours twice a week so that the boys can take swimming lessons. Sigh. It's sooo worth it. That's what I keep telling myself.

Seven Quick Takes

1. I am getting tired of 2 y.o. back seat driving. When we go home from school, I hear 'a-a-ah, slow down!', when we go to the YMCA, she keeps saying 'that one parking spot!' (parking is a HUGE problem) when everything is packed. And so on (and on, and on, and on) Two year olds SHOULD NOT be able to talk!!!!!!

2. Mornings are stressful around here. I am NOT a morning person, my kids DO NOT like breakfast food, so feeding them is a big headache, Daniel is very slow and Jadin is very hyper. Rachael wants to be held. One of them decides he/she needs to use the bathroom for 20 minutes just as we are finally heading out the door (and are usually too late to make it on time already).
Today, Jadin went out to get in the car, Rachael opened the door and the dog escaped, I ran out of the door to get the dog. Daniel walked out of the door and closed it shut. With the keys still inside.
I proceeded to have a meltdown. I yelled at him. I might have said 'stupid idiot' to no one in particular and am pretty sure all three kids heard that. Sigh. Not my most glorious moment. Mark had to leave work to open the door for me. He wasn't happy.

3. Moving on. I am bound and determined to find the right flute embouchure. My teacher was gone for three weeks, so I've been playing the wrong way (yet again) without knowing it. She explained it to me AGAIN (for the thousandth time) and with the help of the Internet I am thinking I finally got it (after two solid days of trying). It sounds horrible, but it usually gets worse before it gets better. We will see.

4. I was planning to go to a YMCA nursery potluck (baroque themed, people were encouraged to dress for the time period) tonight. I even have a long dark maroon dress that can be counted as 'baroque' (or close enough). M tells me he will not be back from work till 6. It STARTS at 6. He's been up for 16 hours. I guess, it's not going to happen.

5. I was invited to a party where the hostess is trying to sell stuff. It's tomorrow. I was going to go, but now am thinking probably not. Rachael fell asleep in the car just as I pulled into Wall.mart's parking lot (to go grocery shopping for the next two weeks.) And M. called right after and asked if I could bring him some food. So, instead of grocery shopping I went food and husband hunting (he delivers food to restaurants, so it's challenging to catch him at one particular place). Which means I will have to do it tomorrow instead of going to the party. Oh, well. We don't have any money for that anyway.

6. It has been very VERY warm here (in the 60's) for a few days. I can NOT wait for spring, it is so nice to not shiver all the time. I took the kids to the play ground. It was getting to be late in the day and I did put sweaters on them. There was a 4 yo little girl wearing a sundress and flip flops. SUNDRESS???? I was getting too cold in a sweater!

7.I let the kids play in the tub while I am writing that. My suspicion is the floor is flooded and the water is probably cold by now. So, I am going to get them out. Wish me luck.

Comic Relief

Being from Ukraine with it's infamous Chernobyl nuclear explosion I just can't get the picture of glowing herds of radioactive cows praising the Lord out of my head! LOL

(And, yes, this is the actual order of worship from my church from last night. The title is supposed to read 'Lord, With Glowing HEART I'd Praise Thee')

Christian Character Award

My kids' school has chapel every week. I am not sure how I feel about it. Don't take me wrong, I LOVE it that they get to worship God every Friday. What I am not sure about is the 'entertainment' side of it. The Chapel worship leader is a lot of fun, she plays the guitar and she talks between songs and she is very, very entertaining. The kids love her. And I love her, too. But then, again, we (or, the kids) are not there to get entertained. They are there to worship. To show love and respect, to enter into God's awesome presence and be amazed by His greatness and humbled by the realization of their sin. I think it's hard to achieve when you are having fun. There's a time and a place for everything.
And then there's 'Christian character' award that they give one student of each class every week for demonstrating Christian character.
I don't know what YOU think when you hear Christian character. I tend to look at it as work of the Holy Spirit in us resulting in producing fruit. 'But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control.' (Gal.5:22-23a) So, it is unbiblical to reward a CHILD demonstrating this fruit, because it is Spirit that works these things in him/her. When you reward the child for what GOD is doing in him, you are encouraging pride and self-reliance.
I witnessed this kind of attitude first hand in the school hall. A frequent recipient of that award, a kindergartner, asked me if I was Jadin's mom. I said I was. He told me that Jadin used to sit by him but the teacher had to move Jadin because he was too distracting (not true, they move them around every semester regrdless). The 'holier then thou' attitude was so thick you could taste it! Did I mention that the little guy is a KINDERGARTNER! I don't want to see what that attitude looks like by the time the child is in sixth grade.
Now, you may argue that we are 'to work out our salvation with fear and trembling' (Phil. 2:12) and a child should be rewarded for their effort. I agree. BUT, how do you measure the effort?
Let me explain using the example of my own kids.
Jadin.



Jadin is my rambunctious, never sitting still, fun loving, always moving around, living in his head, having a hard time concentrating child. I am sure if we cared to have him diagnosed he would be pronounced ADHD. He is also tender and quick to respond to some one's pain, ready to give his most beloved possession to comfort others, willing to stand up for those he loves child. He is always the first to pray. For him, getting a month of green lights (for good behavior) at school is a huge achievement because he is just so full of life and energy, it's hard for him to sit still and listen. The fact that he does that day after day, means he knows what's expected of him and workes HARD to do it.
Daniel.



Now, take Daniel. He is fun loving , too, and energetic, but he is also much quieter. If you sit him down and tell him to color, he will COLOR even if the earth start falling apart around him. He loves vegetating in front of the TV. He loves to sit in my lap and be loved and he doesn't need anything else to occupy him. He is perfectly content to just sit. Yes, he is the perfect candidate for the 'Christian character' award, but is this of his doing? Of course, not. That is how he was created by God. It takes no effort whatsoever.
So, out of the two of them, who do you think is more 'worthy' of that award based on 'working out your salvation with fear and trembling'? Who puts most effort in being 'good' (sitting quietly and doing what they are told to do without distracting everyone)? A child who was born to be content doing it or the one who has to give it his all to do it?
Jadin has never been a recipient of that award. Yet, he has been coming home with all green lights (with four exceptions since Sept.1st).
Now, call this a 'good behavior' award, leave 'Christian' out. That doesn't mean you have to put any effort in it. The 'Christian Character' award implies EFFORT. Or else, you are rewarding the child for the work God is doing in him and for the way the child was created.
Not fair, anyway you look at it.
What should I do?

Nothing Blog Worthy.

Absolutely NOTHING! Unless, of course, you want to hear about laundry and vomiting children. No? Ok, then.
On a different subject, I feel like I have been surrounded by death. It started when four families in our very small church lost their loved ones in a very short period of time. I am not sure why it affected me so much, but I have been shaken up. Maybe because I understand God's perfection and how offensive our sins are in His sight and it's hard for me to remember that He is also GOOD. Not just good in general, but that He is good to ME. He showed it time and again. But my sins are always before me. There's so much loss and death in the world brought in by sin. Why should I escape? Why should my soul be spared the loss of the ones I love when everyone around me is affected? Am I less sinful? Am I in any way different? Is He not the same God to them as He is to me? Is he not glorified in death as He is in life?
So, why should my soul be spared the grief?
Don't worry, we are all well (minus the throwing up, which is not deadly as Jadin is as happy and running around today as he was yesterday) Still, I feel like I am living in shadows.
My teacher called yesterday saying that her mom is dying so she will not be in town for some time. And I also learned about the death of this beautiful little baby girl. So.Not.Fair.
I hate you, sin! I am so looking forward to Jesus coming back. And today I am trying to remind myself that death has been defeated. Christ's life, death and resurrection is the seal on my 'not guilty' decree. That day WILL come.
As for now, as Apostle Paul said 'To live is Christ and to die is gain'

The Smiling Embouchure Is Noooooo Good

This is what I am really struggling with:


I like the guy, he is really funny.
I can't figure out how to go up an octave to save my life, though. My mouth is just refusing to curl DOWN. When I move my jaw the way he is doing it, no sound comes out.

It is somewhat comforting that this is a master class, he is teaching professional flutists, so it's not just my problem.

God Takes Care of Us Always.

We had no school yesterday because they were forecasting wind chills of -40F. Of course, it wasn't that bad, actual temps were around -7F for a high, and the winds were typical SD winds. So, I called a friend (she was going to take her daughter to school for their 2hr late start) and we met at Starbucks for a quick cup of coffee. Since I had the boys with me I got them hot chocolate (a real treat, they only had Starbucks hot chocolate once before) as a bribe :) We had a nice visit.
A side note, Rachael has this thing now where she'd misbehave as long as it takes to get a spanking (I usually don't spank her unless she is hitting a hot cup of coffee I am holding threatening to spill it and burn both of us or of she is throwing food hard enough to get people sitting at the table next to ours. Or something along these lines.) So, she got her spanking yesterday and was a perfectly happy little girl after that, playing and giggling, quite a contrast to a winy unhappy child she had been all morning. She did it again this morning when M and I went out on a little 'breakfast' date. The transformation was so drastic that even M. (who is usually not keen to observe things like that) commented on the subject. Is that what terrible twos look like in a girl? Because the boys NEVER did this.
Anyway, back to yesterday. I wasn't feeling very well all day but decided to go work out (to make my body 'snap out of it' Didn't work quite as well, I only did 400 cal. and had to quit). We got back home without any trouble (and by that I mean the car worked and I didn't vomit all over it:).
Well, this morning M. went to start the van to take the boys to school. It was completely dead. Wouldn't start. At all. It appears that the battery finally died (after 8 years of faithful service) and nothing helped.
Now, what would I have done if it happened last night? -7F isn't that bad, unless you have to walk home with three little children in tow. If today wasn't M's day off, the kids would have to miss school (they had a trip to the stock show planned for today, both were really excited about that). Providentially, M WAS home and took them to school in his pickup. And the van held together yesterday. God really does take care of us.