A Few Years Ago...

...when Jadin and Daniel were babies/toddlers, they wouldn't really take naps in their beds. They would sleep on me for hours while only taking 30 min. naps if I put them in their beds. I remember how difficult it was for me to sit still for a couple of hours. I couldn't wait for them to get a little bit older and take actual naps in places designated for it. I was looking forward to putting them down and tip toeing quietly out of the room to go do something, clean something, cook something, anything that didn't involve sitting in a chair in the same position for two hours looking at the nearest wall.
When Rachael was born I was determined to teach her to sleep in her bed from day one. We struggled for a week and she was good. She learned. In fact, she turned out to be quite independent. I invite her to come cuddle in my bed at night time and she does, for a short time, and then she firmly tells me she wants in her bed. At nap time she just climbs in there (sometimes reluctantly) and goes right to sleep.
Ah, sweet two hours of freedom.
I was practicing today when she came and said 'Mommy, can you hold me just for a little while. I want 'rock baby' (pointing to her favorite rocking chair). So I put the flute down and rocked my baby to sleep. I breathed in her sweet smell, felt the touch of her still baby-like curls on my cheek, her warm body pressed tightly against my chest, her little arms wrapped around me.
As I was rocking in that chair enjoying the fleeting time of togetherness with my daughter I couldn't help but wonder where I was so in a hurry to all those years ago. I was foolish. People kept telling me that this too shall pass and much faster than I think and that I will miss these moments. I nodded politely and smiled and quietly disagreed.
As I am holding my last baby in my arms knowing that she will rest much better and feel more refreshed if she sleeps in her bed, I am reluctant to put her down. I want to hang on to her just a little longer. I will have time to show off my spotless house to my friends when my nest is empty. There will be time for three course gourmet meals and a glass of wine and a book. But it is not now. Not yet.
Shhh! Let me enjoy my sleeping baby. She will be going off to school way too soon.